


Youth

by IzFunQuake



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Human AU, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other, Physical Abuse, Romance, Smut, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:18:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19302127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzFunQuake/pseuds/IzFunQuake
Summary: Important message, please read until the end. Thank you.





	1. Important message

**Author's Note:**

> Important message, please read until the end. Thank you.

Hello everyone. I’m sure wondering why I deleted all the chapters of Youth. Well, I have decided to take a break from this story and once I get my head back in the game, I’m going to rewrite it. I know I received so much love and support from you all and I’m very thankful for that and love each and every one of you. But the story wasn’t something I’m proud of. I wrote it without planning or thinking it out. I just wrote and because of that, it just went everywhere and didn’t make sense. I know you probably are saying this dumb b*ith lol, but I do apologize. 

I’m going to rewrite this, and this time I’m writing it the way it was meant to be written. This has honestly been eating me up for months. I knew I wasn’t proud of this story and I know I would disappoint you all if I did delete it. So, I’m going to give myself a break for a while. I’m going to restart the story and write it properly and thoroughly. 

I’m still a new writer who doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing. But I guarantee you, I will come back with a bang. I want this story to be memorable for everyone who reads it, and that’s what I plan to do. 

So, hopefully you understand my decision to do this. I don’t want you to leave and hate me, but just be a little patient with me. I’m coming back, I promise.

Thank you ❤️


	2. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello peeps! I’m back and ready to deliver you with somewhat decent writing lol. This chapter took me weeks to complete because I didn’t know what the f*ck to do. Then when I figured it out, I didn’t know how to write it. But after a few weeks of writing and rewriting, I’m here to present to you a better “Youth” story. 
> 
> And I want to thank everyone who were so kind and supportive in my decision. I didn’t know how people would react when I said what I said. But after I got so many positive and kind comments from people, in pushed me to do better and create something that will amazing. 
> 
> So thank you so much ❤️
> 
> Though I want to make clear now that I will not be uploading daily or weekly. Because of school and writing, I don’t want it to overwhelm me again. So you may get monthly chapter updates. But if I do have free time, then I will post weekly and will try to do daily lol.
> 
> And just imagine this to be the first chapter lol

We all have to die one day. It’s just the way of life. Death was something inevitable. The moment it occurs, avoiding it will be to no avail. Essentially like a bullet protruding through your chest, the ache of a knife twisting in your stomach, or maybe closing your eyes to lay to rest only to never wake up. 

 

Though, what beauty lives behind the door after death? Heaven or Hell? A crystal sky? Eternal darkness? The possibilities were endless. That’s what makes it so immersive and interesting, beautiful even. Expect only in Touka’s story that seemed to be different. There were no such things as  _ Happy Ever Afters  _ in her life. Only tragedies repeating itself over and over and over. 

 

After so many years, how could the nightmares still haunt her, the faces still impregnated in her mind. 

 

They never wanted to leave. Never. Maybe this was her punishment. A punishment for all her mistakes. Mistakes that didn’t need to happen.

 

Her heart yearned for comfort. Even if it’s only a little bit, her heart would greatly take its offer.

 

Darkness  _ is _ eternal.

 

“And how would you describe darkness?” The man asks, short brown hair, green eyes that were filled with benignity, but seriousness, and glasses that framed his face well. The man crosses his legs and looks at Touka, awaiting her answer. Though she stays silent — a new found comfort. A time to think and process everything that had started twenty-three years ago. 

 

She runs her tongue over her lips. “I describe darkness to be something everlasting.” She answers. 

 

“And why is that?” The man presses, leaning in further, analyzing her facial expression.

 

Touka’s eyes drift, gazing at the evening sky. “Because we all have our demons, and sometimes we let ourselves fall into their traps.” 

 

~*~

 

_ June 21, 1996 _

 

Flowers had a certain significance about them; mostly symbolizing death or love. Though it was enrapturing, seeing the colors that painted their beauty and importance. 

 

Ocean eyes roamed about in amazement as Touka pressed her palms against the warm glass and idolized the beautiful flowers through the window. 

 

‘ _ COLORFUL PEDALS’  _ read the print on the window. 

 

“Mama, mama! Come over here!” The young child urged, beaming a smile. “Look!” She pointed to the flowers displayed in the window. “They’re so pretty.”

 

Hikari laughed and begin walking over there to Touka, kneeling down in front of her. “They are. Just like you.” Her mother says, ruffling Touka’s black hair with a giggle. “Would you like to go inside?” Her voice soft when she asks, a hand going to her golden locks to place a strand of hair behind her ear. 

 

Her blue eyes brighten. “Yes, yes, yes!” She squeals happily and takes her mother’s hand and drags her inside the shop. 

 

A bell chimes when they enter, the intoxicating smell of flowers filling their noses immediately. Touka let’s go of her mother’s hand and wonders about in the shop curiously. Her eyes travel everywhere from green plants, herbs, and decorative flower pots to old black and white photos of a woman and a man. 

 

Soon, she makes her way to the decorative wall of flowers in a pot hanging from a hook. Unfortunately, despite her attempts, Touka couldn’t reach up to touch them. Huffing in frustration, she gives up, moving onto the next one. Too absorbed in her world, everything starts to fade out. 

 

“Oh! I’m sorry to keep you waiting!” A woman emerges from behind the door. At the sound of her sudden voice, Touka gets startled from her thoughts, and she quickly ran over to her mother to hide behind her, gripping onto her sundress lightly. 

 

From behind, Touka studies the woman; short black hair, pale skin, black glasses and wears a white sundress. 

 

_ She was pretty, but not as beautiful as mama, _ she thinks.

 

“Oh no, it’s fine. We haven’t been here for that long.” Hikari says, waving her hands negligently. 

 

“Still though, it’s unprofessional to not greet customers when they enter. I apologize.” The woman bows her head in an apologetic manner before raising her head back up again. 

 

“Now, how may I help you?” The woman asks sweetly with a smile. 

 

“We were just admiring your flowers. They’re very beautiful.” Hikari says kindly, gesturing to the flowers in the window. 

 

The woman blushes, “Thank you. My boss, Rose, takes care of all the flowers and I do my best to assist her in her work.” She explains. 

 

“But anyway, let me show you around. Get an idea of what you want. Follow me.”

 

But Touka had other plans. 

 

She lightly tugs on her mother’s dress, getting her attention. 

 

“Can I explore?” Mustering up her best puppy face with pleading eyes and pouting lips. Hikari laughs at her facial expression before granting Touka permission, only promising that she stays in here and doesn’t go too far. Touka smiles and thanks her mother then sets off on her journey. 

 

The walk wasn’t far from where her mother was. From the distance she could see her talking to that lady. 

 

Passing by flowers and green plants of her height, she touches everything. Even opened the refrigerator to feel the coolness of the other flowers. An adventure awaits further in the shop as she pushes past the plants. But then there was…

 

_ Achoo!  _

 

_ Achoo! _

 

_ Achoo! _

 

Of what sounded like sneezing reached Touka’s ears, the curious side of her was tempted to see who was behind it. Though, would her mother be upset if she went too far? 

 

Whatever. She was a trouble child anyway. Always getting into situations that were foolish and reckless. What’s another one? Her shoes clicked against the floor loudly as she got closer, and closer. 

 

When she finally reaches her destination, she stays quiet, only peeking her head over the tall sunflowers to reveal a boy with short black hair, pale skin, and engrossed in a book. He looked so at peace. Touka draws a breath before taking a step from behind the plants. She self-consciously walks towards the boy, who seems to have not noticed her presence. 

 

“Hello?” Her voice only slightly above a whisper, shyness evident. 

 

No reply. 

 

“Hello?” She says a bit louder. 

 

A groan of annoyance escaped from Touka as she stomped closer to the boy. 

 

“Hey!” She shouts loudly enough to get his attention. Gray eyes soft and innocent, yet confused by her act.

 

“Um..hello.” The boy quietly said, both baffled and a bit irritated. 

 

Though he studies Touka; yellow dress with rabbit prints on them, paired with white sandals, along with rabbit shaped hair clips in her black hair. His face goes red, gray eyes avoid her blues. 

 

“What’s your name?” She asks.

 

Suddenly, his eyes found themselves back on her at her question. 

 

“K-Kaneki.” He stutters. 

 

Touka beamed a cheeky smile. “That’s a cool name.” She compliments. “Kaneki, Kaneki, Kaneki…” She repeats the name like a prayer, making sure to remember it. From that, he blushes a bit. 

 

“A-And yours?” 

 

“Oh! My name is Touka.” 

 

“Touka ...that's a pretty name.” Kaneki sweetly says. Now it was Touka’s turn to blush. 

 

“Thank you…”

 

Averting his gaze away from her, he returns to the page he was previously reading, thinking she would leave after seeing him go back to his book.

 

But Touka didn’t anticipate on doing that. Smoothing down her dress, she sits herself next to Kaneki, shoulders brushing against each other. Kaneki’s body stiffens at the contact. 

 

“What are you reading?” Touka looks up at him inquisitively. This kind of question from another kid, let alone it be from  _ A GIRL,  _ was shocking to Kaneki. No one had ever been curious about what he was reading. And when they did see him reading, the other kids would make fun of him. Saying that he was  _ “not cool”  _ or  _ “boring” _ . But maybe, just maybe, not all kids were bad. 

 

“ ‘ _ The Rainbow Fish’.”  _ He replies. “It’s a really colorful book.”

 

Touka nods her head, poking her lips out. “So can you read it to me?” She casually asks.

 

Another surprise hitting him. 

 

“Sure.” 

 

Getting comfortable, Touka rests her head on his shoulder. Kaneki tries to ignore their closeness and just focuses on the words in the story. Touka listens to his voice, smooth and steady as he read. The softness of his voice relaxes her further, almost like a lullaby. 

 

“ ‘ _ One day, a little blue fish followed after him. ‘Rainbow Fish,’ he called, “wait for me! Please give one your shine scales. They are so wonderful, and you have so many.’ ”  _

 

“Aww. The blue fishy sounds so nice.” Touka said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“Yeah...” Kaneki agrees.

 

_ “ ‘You want me to give you one of my special scales? ‘Who do you think you are?’ cried the Rainbow Fish. ‘Get away from me!’ ”  _

 

“Wow! The Rainbow Fish is a meanie!” Touka says furious, puffing her cheeks out and shaking her head against Kaneki’s shoulder. He chuckles, happy that she’s  _ enjoying  _ the story.

 

_ “ ‘Shocked, the little blue fish swam away. He was so upset, he told all his friends what happened. From then now, no would have anything to do with the Rainbow Fish. They turned away when they swam by...’ ” _

 

Right as he was about to continue, the call from a woman interrupted them. 

 

“Darn it!” Touka huffs.

 

“Touka! Come on. We have to get going.” Her mother yells again from the other side of the room.

 

A whine escapes from Touka as she stands. “I’m coming!” She turns to face Kaneki. “I’m sorry that I have to go, but let’s have a playdate! It’ll be fun!” 

 

He stares wide eyed at her before speaking. “I’ll ask my mom…”

 

“Great!” She turns away, leaving him to stay in a quiet corner until, “Buh-Bye Kaneki!” She waves, giggling. He waves back with a gentle smile. And with that she was gone. 

 

He wondered how Hide would react when he tells him he made a new friend named Touka, who loves rabbits and flowers. 

 

Rabbits and flowers…

 

~*~

 

The day had finally arrived. After weeks of anticipation, impatience, yet joy, the day had finally arrived. Hurrying to her mother’s room to wake her up twenty minutes before her alarm, she jumps on the bed repeatedly, causing both her mother and father to release a groan, clearly somewhat annoyed. Knowing exactly why Touka was doing this, Hikari gets up from the comfort of her bed and begins to ready herself for the day while Arata makes breakfast for everyone. 

 

Touka was quick when it came to breakfast. Always chewing furiously and gulping down her milk hurriedly. But today was definitely quicker than the others. She rushed through her rabbit shaped pancakes and scrambled eggs. Hikari had to tell her to take it easy and they’ll make it time, but in Touka’s mind, there was no time to waste. 

 

After finishing breakfast, she grabs her shoes and takes hold of her mother’s hand before they were off.

 

Days like this in the city of Tokyo were adventurous and beautiful. So many things awaited them as walked the streets of downtown. New things being seen and learned. 

 

Even though they lived in Tokyo, that didn’t mean they knew all the ins and outs. But Touka couldn’t wait to explore it with her new found friend. 

 

When they reached the shop, Touka grinned ear to ear. The grip on her mother’s hand tightens as she runs hand and hand with her. The bell chimed as she entered the shop. She had been eager for this day, and now that it was here, she couldn’t control her excitement. Though looking around, Kaneki nor his mother was nowhere to be found. 

 

“I thought you said that they said to meet them here…” Worry beginning to sink into her mind. 

 

“They’re probably busy storing flowers away.” Hikari reassures Touka, “Look right now.” 

 

Touka turns her head to see a black haired boy, wearing a navy blue shirt with trousers, coming from behind the door and walking over to them. Both Touka and his eyes lit up happily. 

 

“Kaneki!” Touka runs over to him and engulfs him a hug. He returns the greeting with a kind hug as well. When they pull away, Touka takes notice of a familiar book in his hands. The process was slow at first, but then Touka had finally remembered. 

 

“  _ ‘The Rainbow Fish’ _ !” She squealed happily, a giddy smile playing on her lips. A laugh escapes from Kaneki. 

 

“Yup!” He chirps, “Today we’ll finish reading it.” 

 

A smile graces Touka’s lips. She takes hold of Kaneki’s hand, letting her fingers interlace with his, feeling the warmth of his palm in hers. It was strange to Kaneki, why anyone would want to be friends with someone remotely like him. Confusion ran through his mind, but he decided to let it go and enjoy the moment they were living in. 

 

They race to the river, panting from exhaustion, but still full of adrenaline. Relaxing by the river, watching as the sun’s light glistens along the river and the hearing the birds chirp happily to themselves. Feet soaked in the warm waters, colorful fish passing by once in a while to say hello by glazing against them. 

 

The words came so proficiently as Kaneki. Whenever it came to reading, he could effortlessly read word for word, page by page without a single stutter in his voice. If Touka were to read a book out loud, she’d fumble over words and forget what the story's even about. Not that she would ever pick up a book anyway, but still, it was admirable to see this from a boy her age. 

 

As always, his soft voice became almost lullaby like. Touka could feel her eyes going shut, though her ears could still hear perfectly fine. She adjusts her head on his shoulder and breathes out a small sigh. 

 

Of course after Kaneki read  _ The Rainbow Fish, _ he fished out another book called  _ The Little Prince _

 

The evening sun had arrived, turning the sky from a light blue, to a mixture of orange, yellow, and pink. A yawn escaped from both the children as they realize how much time has passed. Their feet became numb and pruney from soaking them in the water for so long.

 

Atlas, the book had finally been completed. For those last few minutes, they basket in a peaceful silence, though sad that they have to part from each other soon. Realizing that, Touka speaks first.

 

“I don’t want this day to end.” She says wistfully. 

 

Soft titters escapes from Kaneki’s lips, “I don’t want this day to end neither.” Sadness resonating in his tone. “I had an amazing time today.”

 

He felt like he couldn’t even recognize his own voice. It’s been so long since he’s interacted with anyone else besides Hide. After traumatic experiences in the past, Kaneki has put his distance away from people. Even his own mother. 

 

But seeing the glimmer in her eyes at his response made it seem like it was worth it. 

 

“Me too! I hope we can do it again.” 

 

Touka suddenly turns her gaze to face him, a serious expression displayed on her face. “Kaneki, let’s make a promise.” 

 

A promise? It seemed strange and out of the blue. 

 

Nevertheless, he obliged. “Okay. Was is it?” 

 

“To never…”

 

~ 

 

“Hurt each other. To never lie to one other. To never leave the other.” 

 

Tears streamed down Touka’s cheeks immensely. An aching heart that could never be healed. No matter how many times she’s cried out for help, everytime she was answered with the cold, taunting silence. Her tears will never go dry and she fears that there is no saving her, no helping her forget, no weapons to fight her demons. 

 

A promise that was broken and could never be made again. 

 

An unforeseen action happens. The sudden warmth of a pair of strong arms engulfing her in a caring embrace. They wrap themselves around her form comfortingly. A mellow _sorry_ reverberates in her ear. His breathing lightly feathering over her neck, causing a shiver to run down her spine. The man gently rocks her body in his arms, his grip tighten around her waist as she begins to cry into his sleeve.

 

A broken promise could never be fixed again. 

 

At least hers couldn’t be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading ❤️


	3. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :) I’m here with another chapter. I apologize for the long wait. This was suppose to be posted last week but I was busy then I got sick. But luckily I worked on it before. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

How does affection feel when it comes from a mother? A father? What does it feel like to have the warmth and comfort of your loved one holding you while they softly read you a bedtime story? After, they kiss your forehead and wish you goodnight and an _ I love you _ ? 

 

He wonders, who am I to not receive the same kind of treatment the other children get from their mommies and daddies? What made him different from the kids at school who constantly bullied him? 

 

There was a barrier between him and society. Walls he desperately wishes he could climb. Frequent screams and cries echo in his ears, the voice so familiar to him. 

 

Himself. 

 

A woman’s voice comes into play, she yells and shouts all day. Her hand connects with the child's cheek as he continues to weep. Oh, how he wishes to escape this wretch hell. Though it always seems like something pulls him back down. 

 

Why? He asks himself. 

 

_ Why? _ The voice chuckled sinisterly.  _ Because you’re… _

 

_ nothing _ . 

 

~*~

 

_ September 10, 1996 _

 

It was funny. 

 

To see the predicament he had found himself in. Though it was strange since he did his best to isolate himself from the other children in his classroom. Yet they continued to poke and prod at him when all he’s doing is living in his own world, not bothering anyone. But apparently, his silence was disturbing. 

 

“Ken Kaneki is weird.” At least that’s what the pretty brunette next to him said when the teacher assigned them as partners for a small activity. His pale skin reddened at her words, cheeks flushed in embarrassment, head hanging low to avoid all the judging eyes around the room. 

 

Laughs and giggles could be heard from the other children. Hurtful words were thrown at him. 

 

And once again, he had no shell to protect himself—or a weapon to fight back. 

 

He chants a prayer in his head for this nightmare to be over. Tears began to form in his eyes, but Kaneki refuses to let them fall

 

_ Please, make this stop.  _

 

Then suddenly, it was like God himself had heard his cries from above. 

 

Unexpectedly, his blessing being Touka. She stands, causing everyone to go silent and focus their attention on her. The teacher waits patiently for what the young girl had to say. 

 

Her blue irises make contact with Kaneki’s fearful ones. She smiles, and that immediately eases his overwhelming anxiousness.

 

“I’ll be partners with Kaneki.” Touka announces. Gasps could be heard around the room. Nevertheless, she stands tall and doesn’t let that affect her decision. The heel of her shoes click against the pavement as she walks towards Kaneki. He could feel her low breathing on his nape when she stood behind, placing hands of comfort on his shoulders. A faint blush evades his cheeks. 

 

“Alright then. Touka you will be Kaneki’s partner in this assignment.” The teacher says. 

 

“Sounds good!” A grin plastered on her lips, which made a slight chuckle escape from Kaneki. Touka glares at the brunette next to him, insinuating that she leaves immediately. Hurriedly, the brunette removes herself from the chair and sits next to someone else, Touka replacing her sit. 

 

Once the tension was settled between all the children, the teacher starts to pass out the assignment with a short story about the experiment and questions about it overall. Though Kaneki was a great academic scholar, science was not his best forte. Just looking at the questions made his brain ache in frustration and annoyance. On the other hand, it seems that Touka was blazing through the assignment, her eyes moving rapidly. It was impressive to say the least, but not surprising since she always made A’s and B’s in science. 

 

So Kaneki sat there patiently waiting until… 

 

“I got it!” She announces loudly enough for Kaneki to snap out of his thoughts and focus on the task at hand. 

 

“Oh, you did?” He asked a bit disheveled

 

“Yup! Here’s the Sun, and after there’s Mercury, Venus, Earth, and more. Hopefully we did good.” 

 

_ We?  _ He didn’t do anything. All the credit went to Touka. But it was nice to think of him and include him in this, even though he didn’t participate in any way. Suddenly, she raises her hand, indicating a five hand. And Kaneki finds himself following through with it, feeling giddy and happy about their “ _ teamwork” _ . 

 

Maybe today would actually be a good day. 

 

~*~

 

Fate had a weird way of displaying itself. In any situation, the fate of it all could either be good or bad. But for the first time in Kaneki’s life, he had thought fate was on his side — that finally, someone could ease his suffering. However, that didn’t seem to be the case. 

 

His hands were trembling tremendously, the grip on his backpack tighten, and his feet paced faster against the pavement. But it didn’t matter. They were behind him. Hunting him down like he was  the prey and they the predators. The footsteps behind him picked up speed quickly and soon he felt himself being pulled back and thrown down to the ground. 

 

Kaneki felt his heart get caught in his throat, his stomach twisting and turning in tight knots. The urge to vomit felt needed in this moment. There was no escaping. He was trapped. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. His skin went paler by the minute, its color completely disappearing. Fear courses through his whole entire body, preventing him from moving.

 

The boys who looked like they were in his grade or possibly older, stepped towards Kaneki. 

 

“If it isn’t the little crybaby runt?” The boy who seemed to be the leader, displayed a sickening smirk. “Get him.” He orders the rest of his people. Obediently, they follow his demand. Two boys walked towards Kaneki and pulled him up forcefully, firmly keeping him place until they bring him to a dark, quiet alleyway. Kaneki’s back forcefully hits the back of the brick wall when they pushed him against it. 

 

His breathing comes to a halt. Overwhelming terror consumes him. It was like he was on the verge of meeting his maker. Tears began to form in Kaneki’s eyes, his vision completely going a blur. 

 

“P-please…please don’t hurt me…” His voice quivers as he tries to speak, but to no avail, he goes silent knowing that they will only find amusement in it if he continues to speak. The only thing that could be heard were his pleading cries. The boys laughed, clutching their stomachs from the so called hilarity. 

 

“Ahahaha! Crying?! What a baby!” One of them says. 

 

“What should we do first?” The other asks, a glimpse of excitement in his voice and eyes — like a serial killer getting aroused about their next killing. 

 

“Let’s…” The leader ponders, scratching his chin as if thinking hard and deep about what to do. Then finally after a few minutes, he says, “Pull his pants down and take a photo of his small wee-wee.” He laughs menacing. 

 

Fate has set itself in place. The moment they towered over Kaneki’s small figure, he could see his life flash before his eyes. They hook their fingers around his belt and unbuckle it, pulling down his pants, along with his underwear. The river of tears flowed down his cheeks as they took out their cameras and began to take photos. Sick, disgusting photos. Their laughs and remarks torturing his ears. 

 

Weak— he felt weak. 

 

The words from his mother echoed in his mind. 

 

“ _ You are a weak, pathetic little boy. _ ” 

 

What made those words hurt even more was that it was true. 

 

Prayers would not stop this repulsive act. The act of them continuing to take photos. The act of them laughing. The act of them punching and kicking him to the ground. 

 

What a beauty fate, right? 

 

“Hey!” A familiar voice appears in the situation. “Leave him alone Kirai! Go mess with someone your own size!” 

 

Touka.

 

An explosion of chortles escaped from Kirai. “I do what the fuck I want when I want.” He says as he walks towards Touka and sizes her up and down, slight perversion in his eyes. 

 

“You’re an upperclassmen. You’re suppose to support little people like us, not bring us down!” She scolds loudly in Kirai’s face. 

 

Kirai twists into something more evil than before. A sinister smile graced his lips as he looked down at Touka. Even the other members of his group quaked a bit at his expression and was worried that this would take a turn much worse. 

 

“Back the fuck down Touka, or else.” Kirai threatens. 

 

“Not until you let go of my friend.” She burns her eyes into Kirai, glaring hard.

 

“You…” 

 

“Touka no! It’s okay! I’ll be fine!” Kaneki yells, desperately hoping she would leave. He didn’t want her to get hurt. 

 

Unsurprisingly, Touka ignores Kaneki’s protests. “Let him go Kirai, or I will tell the principal and make sure you pay.” Touka says. No emotion is visible in Touka’s voice. The coldness swept through like venom. For a second grader, she had a lot of fire and did not mind unleashing it on anyone. 

 

Kirai throws hands up in defeat. Knowing that his threats won’t work on Touka, he gives up. 

 

“Fine. Take your little boyfriend.” He comments rudely. His gang of goons bring Kaneki to Touka, pushing him in her direction. “Let’s go.” Kirai says to the rest of his group. 

 

And with that, they left. 

 

~*~

 

Touka didn’t know whether it was luck or just completely off that upon entering the house, she was greeted by silence. Peeking her head around the corner, there was no one spotted in the living room or kitchen. She tilted her head in slight confusion, but was grateful that no one was home yet. But just to make sure, she called out to her family. 

 

“Mommy! Daddy!” She hollers. It was officially confirmed: the house is empty. She waves her hand to signal Kaneki to come in. Cautiously, he stepped in, looking around the small home. 

 

Despite it being small, it had character. The warm colors made the house feel cozy and welcoming. Pictures decorated the walls and shelves, a Nintendo in the living room with a case full of games, and kitchen that smelled like homemade pastries. 

 

Like a real home…a real family…

 

“You can sit in the living room.” Touka says, “I’ll go get the med kit.” She starts to make her way up the stairs. 

 

“Um n-no! It’s fine Touka! I’m okay!” But his words didn’t reach her as she was already up the stairs. A sigh escapes from Kaneki. Waiting quietly and in boredom, he decides to take a look at the games they had while Touka gets the med kit.

 

A band of games filled the case, such as  _ Zelda, Super Mario World, Donkey Kong, Street Fighter,  _ and many more. Kaneki’s eyes went wide at the amount of games they had. Hell, that they even had a Nintendo! He could only dream about having such expenses, knowing that his couldn’t and wouldn’t buy him one. That would be considered  _ “selfish”.  _ After a couple minutes, Touka had finally came back down to the living room only to spot Kaneki admiring the games and reading the back description. A light giggle escapes from Touka, causing Kaneki to turn his attention to her. A faint blush evades his cheeks from embarrassment. 

 

“I’m sorry, I got curious and…” He tries to explain himself. 

 

Touka waves her hand nonchalantly. “It’s okay. We can play after.” She offers him a gentle smile. “Now let me fix your bruises.” 

 

They sit on the couch, Touka gets the rubbing alcohol, hydroperoxide, and bandaids to begin her small surgery on the young boy. Though it burned, a lot, he powered through it. 

 

Them boys must have really done a doozy on him for the bruises to be that deep. 

 

“I should’ve reported them to the principal, or beat them up.” Touka grits her teeth. “They should have never done that.” 

 

“It’s fine, really. I’m okay. I’m used to it anyways.” His voice came more sadder than he expected, which did not reassure Touka’s worries. 

 

“I’m your friend, Kaneki. Friends are supposed to protect each other.” 

 

He sighed, “I know, I know, it’s just...I need to be strong. I don’t want you saving me all the time.” 

 

“But there’s nothing wrong with having someone help you. That’s why we have family and friends…”

 

If she only knew the whole story of his life. There was no one he could even lean on for support or comfort. The only thing he knew of was his mother’s constant screaming and the scars that marked his body from her brutal torture. A life with no responsibilities would be lived in a dream for Kaneki. 

 

“Anyway, I’m done.” She finishes cleaning the final bruise and places a bandaid on it. 

 

“Thank you.” 

 

There was an awkward silence between them that lasted for a few seconds until Touka spoke up. 

 

“Did you want to stay? My family should be coming home soon. We can have dinner and play video games. It’ll be fun.” 

 

He could see the desperation and hope in her eyes as she spoke, but he knew couldn’t. Well more so  _ can’t.  _ Not because the sun was slowly starting to set, but because he feared what his mother would do if he were to stay over. Just envisioning her sent a chill down his spine. 

 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” The tone in his voice quiet with hint of guilt. 

 

“Oh…” Touka’s head hangs low, “Well maybe another time.” 

 

Her voice pulls at his heart strings. 

 

_ Don’t sound like that, Touka.  _

 

He wraps an arm around her shoulders, bringing her in a comforting hug. Feeling his warmth swirled happiness inside her, but the sadness still lingered. The sadness was the truth of the whole situation: being alone. His smiles and “ _ reassuring _ ” words are never going to comfort her because she knew the truth. The sad truth of the whole situation. 

 

_ Why do you always want to shoulder all the burden, Ken Kaneki?  _

 

It seemed that no one, not even Touka, knew the answer to that mysterious question. 

 

~*~

 

He shouldn’t be surprised. He wasn’t surprised to hear silence when he entered. Piles of dirty dishes in the sink, cigarette buds on the coffee table, and no food to eat. His feet feel heavy, and for once in his life, he feels tired. Exhausted from the bullies at school, from his mother. From the life he was living. And maybe he had no right to, but…

 

He was tired. 

 

Tired of entering into broken home everyday, only to be greeted by dirty dishes, the smell of cigarettes, a slap across the cheek, or a brutal beating because she was angry. 

 

Indignation ignited within him, his anger boiling inside him. And suddenly. 

 

“AHHHHHHHH!!!” 

 

First intake.

 

“AHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

Second intake.

 

“AHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

Third intake.

 

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

 

Tears filled in his eyes, they flowed down his cheeks like an endless river on a summer’s day. 

 

_ When will this nightmare end? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> Love,  
> Quake

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you.


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